Lately I’ve had multiple friends approach me about helping them adopt dogs.  Hallelujah!  When this happens it feels better than if my birthday landed on Christmas and I won the lottery (okay, maybe not that part) all at the same time.  I’m making a difference.  People are listening.  I am on cloud nine!


“That must be one of those large, slobbery, slow creatures that I hear. Fools.”

And then I see friends that to buy.  I did a little Facebook ranting about those people this morning, and considering I hadn’t even had my coffee yet, I think I did a decent job since it launched a huge discussion and led to TWO friends messaging me to learn more about adopting:  It’s such a sad and defeating feeling to see friends wanting to “buy” puppies. If I can’t even change my own friends’ minds, how will I ever change anyones? There are rescues for literally every.single.breed.imaginable! Pure economics tells us that purchasing from a breeder is a poor decision. By spending your money with a breeder you spending a good 5-10 times what you would spend to adopt the puppy (seriously, that much), and worse, creating “demand” which therefore encourages the breeder to continue creating a supply (breeding the dog.) What those that “buy” don’t consider is the fact that the puppies that aren’t sold, are then dumped at a shelter or handed over to a rescue (the breeder certainly doesn’t want to continue to spend money on the dog as an unsold puppy becomes useless to them after it hits about 10 weeks old.) Now, a shelter must spend tax dollars to care for the dog. Tax dollars that could instead be spent on things like education, new roads, etc. And don’t even get me started on the conditions that most of these dogs live in. It’s really easy to take a cute picture where mom and babies look adorable and well cared for, and sometimes that really is the case, but that is an exception, not the rule. I beg everyone, especially with Christmas right around the corner, PLEASE consider ADOPTING a puppy rather than supporting this practice. Google search “(breed of interest) + rescue + (city you live in)”. There may not be a rescue in the exact city you are in, but I promise you, they can arrange transport to get the dog to you. Now you all don’t have the excuse that “you didn’t know” and if you buy, you’re really just an ass 🙂


Sneaking out to investigate the house.

But almost worse than the friends that want to buy, are my “askhole” friends.  These are the friends that tell me they want to adopt, get me all excited, I spend hours looking for the perfect dog for them and answering all of their questions, and after all that, they end up buying anyways.  They “ask” but don’t really listen.  They are askholes.  It’s happened a couple of times now, and it’s confusing.  Why do they ask for help if they don’t intend to actually follow through with it?  Is it to make themselves feel “like they tried”?  Or did I say something wrong?  Whatever the reason, it’s frustrating.  I definitely make every effort to be kind and not pushy when talking about all the great points of adopting (I totally believe in the old adage that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar) but yet I have failed.


On the other side of the gate!

Do any of you have experience with askholes?  Do you take it personally when people ask for your opinion or help then do the opposite?  Aside from killin’ ’em with kindness, how else to you try to make sure people listen to you about a topic you are passionate about?  (And if you’re one of those people that I’ve been talking to lately about adopting, this is not directed at you, I’m loving helping you!  This is about those that have already purchased a dog.)


Now she’s really getting brave!

Remember, adorable Daisie, featured throughout this post, is available for adoption!  Email me at morganrivera518(at)gmail(dot)com for more information about her.

20 thoughts on “Askholes.

  1. Morgan it is beyond weird that you wrote this just now because Im seeing a lot of buying around me and I was upset on Tuesday and started to gather data about how buying affects shelter numbers and dogs that are pts. Also reached out to friends for stories and shelter officers for actual numbers. Then I fell sick. But i am considering pasting your status as mine on FB.

  2. Morgan, do you have any experience with ? It looks like a site where people can enter breed, location, etc. and find adoptable pets. Both pure and mixed breed animals. I would hate to recommend it unless it’s as great as it appears.

    • I’m pretty sure it’s as great as it seems. I know with rescues must provide tax I’d, etc which is great. Share it! Of course, the much larger discussion to be had is the fact that all dogs are individuals and should be evaluated as such. I’m not a big fan of anyone ever just looking for a specific breed because breed never guarantees personality. But for those less enlightened friends we have, directing them to a site like that is good because at least it means they want up adopt!

      • My mom is addicted to Siberian Huskies, lord help us. There are always plenty of those to adopt, because people are attracted to the beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous fur coats. And then when they find out that they will need to vacuum their house three times a day PLUS clean up dead squirrels, moles, and possums, and fortify their regular fences until their backyards are fortresses that the world’s most stubborn, independent, and hard to discipline dogs won’t be able to escape from….yeah, lots of pure bred huskies for adoption.

        I used to be a mutts-only girl, but now that I’ve experienced bully breeds, I can’t imagine owning a non-bully breed. Still, I would have to evaluate the dog as an individual. Some of them are just too high-energy even for me, who actually loves going out at 6:30 a.m. in rain or freezing temps to play ball for 15 minutes. 😉

        The other thing is that there are so many bully breeds in shelters and rescues I have no qualms about focusing on that set of breeds.

        Funny, tho, when we adopted a second dog, we wanted a “pit bull” because we didn’t think another breed could keep up with Yagé playing, running, and snuggling-wise. And Lola, of course, is a totally different breed from Ya, with a very different personality. So the joke was on us. Or not, since we love our girls so much that we should be embarrassed.

  3. Been there. Not too long ago, someone “asked” me about adopting a dog. I listened carefully to what they said about what they were looking for in a dog and processed the info over and over as I searched for the perfect dog for them. When I excitedly presented the results of my efforts, I was cut off and informed that they had gone ahead and gotten a dog, the exact breed of dog that I had found for them, from a breeder! I wanted to scream! I refrained from doing so as we were in a public place and waited until I got home. I can only imagine what the neighbors thought! Ugh!

  4. Wow! I need you to be my co-writer in my Manifesto to end dog overpopulation. (It’s not that I don’t love cats, it’s just I haven’t mentally solved that problem yet!)

    • Hey, you just let me know what to do, and I’ll do it! It’s really not rocket science, which is why it’s so frustrating that it remains to be such a problem! One day, one day…

  5. Keep on doing what you are doing. Adult learners are notoriously slow. Adults have to see/hear/etc the “message” 7 or 8 times for it to sink in. Adult learners also have various learning styles. Just keep on keeping on. Maybe next time they will adopt.

  6. The second anyone mentions they are wanting a new pet I start telling them all about the joys of adopting and I know when the time comes for me to have a pet I will adopt. However when people choose to buy I try to see the good in that too – as although I hate that people are making money from breeding any animal. If they use a respectable breeder, these people care deeply about their animals and their breed of choice. These are the people who will stand up and shout about the healthy scores and not promoting interbreeding, and I wonder if although not the same, helping these people is also a good thing?


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